# Hold me now, it's hard for me to say I'm sorry.....
It was several years later, and I had come across a name I recognised. The one name that mean't anything to me, the one person I had always loved and would never forget.
The memory of those blue eyes had been imprinted on my heart for ever.
It doesn't matter how, but we had got in touch, by chance. We poured out our lives thus far, for different reasons we had unhappiness in our lives. He was very surprised to find that I had never forgotten him, and bemused as to why. I knew he didn't feel the same but both of us knew we had to meet and solve the mystery of 25 years ago.
The first meeting, was like a film, a brief encounter, but warm, no real awkwardness. I explained what had happened with my Mum 25 years before, and why I had stood him up. He laughed and said I had always been a mystery and he had always wondered what had happened to me.
I swallowed hard, looked down at his hand, and in a moment of snap decision I took his hand and held it tight. The tears rolled down my face as I told him I was sorry for what I did. Not looking up for a minute, I felt his hand squeeze mine back. This act caused me to cry out 25 years of pent up pain, love and emotion. No holding back, Miss Jones was wearing her heart on her sleeve, saying what she felt, what she had always felt.
I looked up into those azure blue eyes, and saw he was crying too, I have never felt such a moment as that ever in my life. I asked him why and he didn't know. For a mad moment, I thought he really loves me too and always has. This is the Catherine Cookson moment, this is it, off into the sunset, happy days. I have had very few men cry near me, but I know it is something that they do not do lightly.
We did meet a few times afterwards. I have never met anyone else like him. We do however come from totally different worlds, and he has a social standing. Like my favourite Patrick Swayze song, he's out of my league, he's like the wind. I can never listen to that song without crying my heart out every time, and yet it is one of my favourite songs. He connects with me like he doesn't with anyone else, he has admitted that. But equally does not feel the same for me, cannot feel the same for me. And so on this earth, this relationship will never be.
Despite all of this, I knew in my heart he was the one for me, but equally the one who got away and will never be mine.
# I just want you to know, I could never let you go.....#
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